Ten Quotes that Reveal Just How Bizarre Ted Cruz's Super-Extra-Long Senate Speech Is
1. “The moon might be as intimidating as Obamacare.” — Senator Ted Cruz, Tea Party poet laureate
2. "Those in my timeline saying @SenTedCruz's filibuster will do nothing really loved Abortion Barbie's filibuster that didn't stop TX." — Erick Erickson, failing to understand what a filibuster is.
3. "Always be sexy. I salute that message." — Ted Cruz, quoting Ashton Kutcher. For the second time.
4. “It is just a form of governmental terrorism." — New York Representative Peter King's feelings about Ted Cruz's marathon Ayn Rand reading.
5. "I thought it was interesting that Ted Cruz used Green Eggs and Ham. I went to the University of Missouri, I did not go to Harvard, but my daughter texted me this morning and said 'Mom, does he not know the point of the story?' It's that you can't knock things until you try it." — Claire McCaskill's literary criticism of another of Ted Cruz's on-air book choices (although we concede that this is adorable)
6. “Regardless of how long I might serve in the United States Senate I hope one day to be granted a letter of marque and reprisal so that I could become a pirate as I longed to be as a child. And you’re all invited to join me when I get that letter of marque and reprisal.” — Utah Senator Mike Lee
7. "I present to you an even more plausible pathway to victory for Ted Cruz and defund Obamacare movement, in just six steps. Read up, GOP establishment: Step One: A meteor hits Joe Biden. Step Two: With Biden temporarily (it was a small meteor) unable to perform his duties as vice president, Barack Obama shocks the political world by nominating Texas Republican Rep. Louie Gohmert to replace him. 'I really do love the book Team of Rivals,' Obama declares at the press conference. 'And Louie makes great ribs.' — The Daily Caller, making fun of the Texas senator
8. "You, kind reader, could talk for 10 hours in your house and it would have the same practical effect on the Senate outcome (and make bathroom breaks much easier)." — Marc Tracy
9. "It's so odd Cruz has chosen this argument. He could just be up there arguing against Obamacare. Instead he's arguing that we need to #MakeDCListen. He's making a broad, quasi-philosophical argument that senators should more fully reflect public opinion. But even he doesn't believe it. Cruz's filibuster is self-refuting." — Ezra Klein
10. "What the fuck is Ted Cruz doing?" — Gawker
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