"Crushingly alone in a cruel and unfeeling universe"? Somehow cooking alone never brought me to that kind of of nihilistic despair.

Instead I would say that it's just more fun to cook with someone else, and the work to reward ratio is different. (You get twice as much food, and two happy people, for about the same amount of work.) If I'm by myself, I'm just as happy with a pint of Ben & Jerry's and some Doritos. No dishes, no mess. And no despair.

I actually don't find solo cooking too depressing (it's relaxing! And I can tell all of you abut it!), but I think doritos and a pint of ice cream would make me want to kill myself.

"men trying to cook women great meals in order to seem like better boyfriend bets"

Actually, a guy makes himself a better boyfriend bet if he shows up at your house with a vacuum cleaner and some laundry detergent!

"it's the sort of pursuit that tends to consistently remind people that they are crushingly alone in a cruel and unfeeling universe."

.... well, if it didn't before, it sure does NOW.

Gee, thanks, Ezra.

How is that a useful definition for cooking?

I think they were trying to distinguish between actual cooking and just heating something up in the microwave, oven or on the stove top.

My wife and I both like to cook. A lot. The problem is that we often have slightly different tastes in food, so we'll frequently get into spats over how the thing the other person is cooking should be prepared. For example, I cannot abide mayonnaise. When we make crap cakes, I much prefer to just use a high quality olive oil as a binding agent. She insists that it doesn't taste good unless you dollop in the white stuff.

Or, take something as simple as scrambled eggs. She loves mixing in tons of cheese. I dislike the taste and consistency of that, and believe that if you are going to have eggs and cheese, the cheese should be melted on top.

I am childish enough to spend the rest of the day giggling at the above reference to "crap cakes".

"Separate ingredients" is in contrast to these pre-mixed, uncooked meals that lots o' people cook over here (limeyland). Think semiprepared food.

On another note, I'd just like to mention that crap cakes should be made with real crap - not imitation! - and bound together with canned refried beans.

prepare meals using separate ingredients

I, too, am curious about what "separate ingredients" means as a definition of cooking. If you boil a hot dog and put it on a bun and add ketchup, does that count? What if the ingredients are macaroni from a box, cheez powder from a packet in a box, and milk?

What if you make pasta constantly, like I do? Does some olive oil or sauce count as an "ingredient"? What if you just make eggs, as in the illustration?

Better data, plz!

I do think that certain complex recipes only deliver a payoff if there's someone who hasn't spent three hours in the kitchen there to enjoy the results. Not to be prissy, but that's often because the prep and tasting messes up your palate: your senses have been exposed to the individual flavours

(Kind of like the relationship between performers or creative artists and their work: you can't watch your own film the way someone else does.)

Sometimes, also, the ingredients or the ratios don't make sense for solo cooking -- i.e. you're less likely to roast a whole chicken if it comes with the prospects of chicken salad, chicken curry and finally chicken soup for the next two weeks. (Nigel Slater does it, though. The Kitchen Diaries is a good read.)

"Separate ingredients?" How is that a useful definition for cooking?

Well, it distinguishes actual cooking from 'pizza in oven' or 'frozen meal in microwave', which is cooking to the extent that it's not eating out.

Cooking is the best date move ever; it's much cheaper than going out, it shows off a skill/interest without sitting down and bragging, by definition you're going to down some beverages and, if all goes well, your bedroom and/or couch is ten feet away!

"Crushingly alone in a cruel and unfeeling universe"

You're just having flashbacks to the NN panel. It'll pass.

Thing-on-stove is indeed chopped liver if the thing on the stove is chopped liver

Thank you -- never has the crux of the infamous Bachelard-Heidegger deli debate" been stated more clearly.

I'm just as happy with a pint of Ben & Jerry's and some Doritos

Not that Ben & Jerry's (Brownie Batter, pls) doesn't make me happy for a short period, but dragging myself out to exercise in this 90+ degree heat after too many such meals isn't making me happy in the slightest. Not even a little bit.

[glaring balefully at gym bag & cursing my aging metabolism]

sigh...

Taking turns cooking (fairly early in a relationship) and cooking together (as it proceeds) are IMO good date activities, though-- not only for all of the obvious sensory/intimacy related reasons, but because it's good for getting a sense of how a person actually approaches different tasks, how helpful s/he may be, and so on.

Thanks, cw, now I'm going to have to stop at the shops on the way home...

A pint of Ben & Jerry's and some Doritos: it's "what's for dinner"!

If you live alone and cannot cook your own food on a semi-regular basis, you are a loser who is still clueless about how to support himself ever since moving from home. These are basic life skills you should have.

If it requires to possibility of nookie to motivate you to learn how to cook, then all the better.

Another point towards cooking for groups - you actually have more variety of food to prepare for groups.

Quite simply, some recipes can only scale down so far. Anything involving eggs, for example - the amount of work it takes to properly measure out the egg if you need to divide it is more work than it's worth, it feels. As not everyone has a scale in their kitchen (as much as I want one, I don't), scaling back anything measured by weight (most meats fall in this category) is at best an eyeball judgment.

On the flip side, scaling up takes much less work. I've had instances where tripling the recipe was easier than halving it. Just the sheer act of cooking encourages social interaction.

Also... odd, I always used eggs to bind my crab cakes. A bit dense, but I find they bind really well and the egg blends the flavors rather than contributing any of its own.

"Also... odd, I always used eggs to bind my crab cakes. A bit dense, but I find they bind really well and the egg blends the flavors rather than contributing any of its own."

The recipe we go by calls for one eggs and a couple or three table spoons of mayo for about four servings. I don't like the taste of mayo, so we do the egg plus about 1.5 tblspn of olive oil (mild, but not that "light-tasting" crap). Unless my wife is cooking, in which case she tries to sneak in the mayo.

Mmm, Chef Lonely Heart's soup for one.
</Apu>

I was just saying to my friend, nothing makes me wish I had a husband like being halfway through baking something, and realising I'm out of a vital ingredient.

Oh, for someone to send to the shops in my place!

My wife died year before last. I enjoy cooking, whether for just myself or for others, but one of the things I miss most about living alone is having someone to regularly cook for.

I'm happy enough cooking for myself, but cooking for others is definitely more fun. What I would really demand in a relationship is someone like my father. Which is to say, willing to act as a prep cook and dishwasher. You couldn't believe how he can mince garlic.

Anyway, I can't say someone wanting to cook for me would be much incentive, since that would require me surrendering control in the kitchen.

John in Nashville, our hearts go out to you.

I liked the 'separate ingredients' line, because I've had an internal debate for years about what constitutes "cooking." Clearly one item into the microwave doesn't count, but even in college I would make pasta in a pot, nuke some sauce, e voila. Clearly not cooking, but close enough that the lines got blurred. Now I don't feel like I'm cooking unless I add some spices. When do y'all feel like you cross the line into really cooking?

shai24, separate pots/pans for the meal. ;)

Last night:
1) skillet to frizzle ham
2) pie pan lined with foil to bake hash brown patties
3) Pyrex dish for French-cut green beans

Cooking for two, btw.

While showing a woman that one is able to cook is a sometimes successful courtship technique, I generally find myself cooking for girlfriends in order to save on going out so often. Why spend $50-100 at an Italian restaurant, when I can make excellent manicotti or eggplant parmesean for about $10-20 worth of ingredients?

You are a wonderful writer.