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MANDATES.
According to recent campaign narratives, the American people have now given Barack Obama an overwhelming mandate for the following projects:
1) Socialism.
2) Putting the coal industry out of business.
3) Wealth spreading.
4) More socialism.
5) Making Joe the Plumber's life a living hell.
6) Taking away everyone's guns. Even those held by police.
7) Government-run health care. Government-run mandate health care. Indeed, a mandate for government-run health care with an individual mandate!
8) Reinstituting the Fairness Doctrine.
9) Surrendering in Iraq.
Am I missing anything? This is going to be a helluva first 100 days.
COMMENTS (23)
Yeah, don't forget the White House will be Mecca for Islamic fundamentalists.
Posted by: Anonymous | November 4, 2008 10:27 PM
Actually, Obama is for "clean" coal. (Why no one told him there is no such thing is beyond me. Carbon based combustion is not clean!) Other than that, you got it right.
Posted by: Anonymous | November 4, 2008 10:31 PM
Haha...y'all are funny.
Did you mention mandating abortions?
Posted by: IVA | November 4, 2008 10:32 PM
Do we nationalize the plumbing industry before or after we confiscate all guns?
Posted by: Brianz | November 4, 2008 10:34 PM
Re-education camps for Republicans.
Death to Israel.
Posted by: Brock | November 4, 2008 10:47 PM
I heard we're all gonna hafta get gaymarried.
Posted by: tgb1000 | November 4, 2008 10:47 PM
When do I get to move into one of McCain's houses?
Posted by: msw | November 4, 2008 10:54 PM
Forcing Boy Scouts to teach sex education to elementary school kids.
Also, don't forget that if we allow gay marriage, soon we'll all have to have sex with dogs.
Posted by: Buckeye Hamburger | November 4, 2008 11:14 PM
Mandates for Man Dates.
Education Camps for Non-College Males (a.k.a. state colleges and universities)
Replace the BCS with a college football playoff. (Wait, that one is true.)
Surrender to Canada on Jan 21.
Sell off Alaska for some
magic beans.
And finally, the text of Barack Obama's first speech to the nation.
Posted by: Aaron | November 4, 2008 11:44 PM
Raise everybody's taxes, especially plumbers
Posted by: Displaced Canuck | November 4, 2008 11:50 PM
Everyone gets adopted by a rich gay couple. I've picked out my new parents - they have a nice place on the Upper West Side - hi daddy & daddy!
Posted by: CParis | November 5, 2008 12:51 AM
I believe my reparations check will soon be in the mail
Posted by: Mocha Dem | November 5, 2008 12:57 AM
Do we nationalize the plumbing industry before or after we confiscate all guns?
Before. Howard Dean had an A rating from the NRA while he was governor, and if Obama is smart then he has bigger priorities, and happily, Obama is smart. Joe the Plumber, on the other hand, is a chump.
Posted by: Cyrus | November 5, 2008 1:24 AM
Gay abortions.
Posted by: jeebus | November 5, 2008 1:30 AM
I want the socialism, so start sending me the checks and the national health care enrollment forms. But I wanna keep my guns just in case somebody tries to take away the benefits of socialism. Call it full metal jacket socialism.
Posted by: Jessie | November 5, 2008 2:02 AM
I think you left out socialism.
Posted by: SFAW | November 5, 2008 3:39 AM
If only we could actually count on the socialism. Don't let this get around, but I don't think Obama is really a socialist at all!
Posted by: Herschel | November 5, 2008 3:45 AM
I think you all are forgetting, the potential for the new president to *double down* on socialism. I mean, I'll be disappointed if I don't actually see him taking a copy of Das Kapital *and socialising it*.
Socialism SQUARED, m****f**ers!
In the real world, wow...
Actually, just, wow...
I don't *even* have small-minded policy prescriptions, the landscape is too open and abundant to draw walls on. Yet...
Posted by: toro toro | November 5, 2008 4:22 AM
Forcing El Viajero to gay-marry his dog.
Posted by: Ha Ha | November 5, 2008 4:34 AM
Rush Limbaugh to be indefinitely detained at Guantanamo
Imposition of sharia
Offer of surrender and visas to Al Qaeda
Reparations for slavery
Bill Ayers to head DHS
Posted by: Ginger Yellow | November 5, 2008 7:23 AM
Did 52% of the American public just vote for the destruction of Israel?
Posted by: JK | November 5, 2008 10:53 AM
White flags of surrender! Don't forget the white flags!
Posted by: gkoutnik | November 5, 2008 11:18 AM
Here's something you forgot, but this Obama supporter didn't....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P36x8rTb3jI
Posted by: El Viajero | November 5, 2008 11:48 AM