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WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?
Photo via Flickr user Misternaxal.
When it comes to Mark and Jenny Sanford the answer seems to be: not a whole lot. I agree with Josh Marshall, who wrote to the embattled South Carolina governor: "Just go be with her," referring to Sanford's Argentine lover. Yes! Though I hope that first, he repairs his relationship with his kids through lots of one-on-one, father-son time.
Mark Sanford told the AP his relationship with Maria Belen Chapur was "a great love affair." On his way to visit her in Buenos Aires, he thought to himself, "I will be able to die knowing that I had met my soul mate." Sure, he's claiming he wants to serve out his gubernatorial term. But his weepy, tell-all interviews are sending quite another message: that he's still passionately in love with Belen Chapur and perhaps just one step away from riding off into the sunset. Sanford even said he didn't regret the affair, though it has quashed his presidential hopes.
Meanwhile, back home, Jenny Sanford, a former Wall Street executive who ably managed her husband's campaigns, said, "His career is no concern of mine." In her written statement, she said she kicked Mark out of the house because if she hadn't done so, she no longer would have been able to look her sons in the eye with her "dignity" in tact.
In other words, it seems clear this couple doesn't want to be together. After his recent affair and a string of other, less serious dalliances, Mark Sanford says he is "trying" to "fall back in love" with his wife. Ouch. Quoting the Bible and talking about forgiveness, it seems clear both the Sanfords, for the sake of their once-shared political ambitions, are trying to craft a salvation narrative that will appeal to their Christian conservative base, in which the governor comes to terms with his sins and and is reborn as a faithful, God-fearing family man. But it also seems clear that a continued Sanford marriage will look, to most of the world, like a total sham. I wouldn't want to be one of their four sons, living in a house with these two after all this has gone down. In fact, so much damage has already been done to those kids that divorce might come as a relief to them. After all, kids often know, better than anyone else, when there's something hopelessly wrong in their parents' marriage.
I hope this entire family is able to move on. Separation and divorce might be part of that. But so far, that possible outcome seems almost taboo to talk about.
--Dana Goldstein
COMMENTS (13)
If he does run off to Argentina to be with his soul mate, he will in time end up hating her. The high he is feeling now will be gone and the cycle of coupleship begins and he will have nothing but her. No career, no kids, no family, in a strange country with different cultures - he will begin to blame her.
In a twisted way, I kind of hope he takes this route because that punishment is even greater because he will realize that his "real" soul mate was actually his wife.
Posted by: Jeannie | July 2, 2009 12:44 PM
Hey, I believe every word Mark Sanford says. I'm sure Mrs. Sanford feels the same way. Why wouldn't she? So, he clearly is in love with .. somebody. I totally understand why the media believes him. It is everyday that a politician confirms he's having an affair for the simple reason that he's horny and feels he could get away with it. And they always say so. It has nothing to do with the fact that stating you're in love sounds better than " I was horny. It sounds alot more forgivable and christian. But that's beside the point. Especially to a skeptical media.
Posted by: red | July 2, 2009 1:02 PM
It's pretty clear from my viewpoint that the marriage is over, but I think it's rather 1970's sort of jump to say that the children would find the divorce of their parents a "relief." If they are like children anywhere, at any time, they will be wondering what they have done wrong, or how they might have made a bad situation worse.
And most kids want their parents to stay together, even if its only a fantasy. Not that parents should stay together "for the good of the children" but it's just not something I'm comfortable being flippant about.
Posted by: eagle | July 2, 2009 1:33 PM
In other words, it seems clear this couple doesn't want to be together
This is as bad as Sen/Dr Frist diagnosing Terri Schiavo via TV. Leave this stuff to the family and the marriage counselors. The only public interest is Gov Sanford's dereliction of duty and misuse of taxpayer funds.
Leave the family drama to Lifetime and SoapNet.
Posted by: CParis | July 2, 2009 1:54 PM
For it to be as bad as Frist Dana would have state she was acting in an expert capacity.
Or not use a qualifier - even a weak one - like "seems."
Or have the power and intent to put her views into law or otherwise enforce them.
And while I think you're correct vis a vis "public interest" in the technical sense, you aren't in the common sense. Politician + Affair + Argentina! = Public interest. Sad but true...
I've read about this in at least 2 other places that didn't properly confine themselves to the political implications. No, really, at least 2!
Posted by: V.O.R. | July 2, 2009 4:20 PM
Whoops. Frist did utter the word "seems" in a relevant statement.
Bad Dana! Bad!
Posted by: V.O.R. | July 2, 2009 4:22 PM
@VOR - the Sanfords' marital drama is a distraction. Progressives are wasting time and energy being concerned about the outcome of Sanford's infidelity, while the political inflence of these Gopasaurs remains. By allowing his personal failings to to front & center, when his wife forgives him or he claims he has forgiveness from God for his "sins", they will be back to business as usual ignoring the needs of his state, the job the people of SC elected him for.
Posted by: CParis | July 2, 2009 6:10 PM
What has my blood boiled is that a so-called patriot looked outside the borders of his own country for love. Sure, an extra-marital affair violates the (stated) Republican orthodoxy. But, isn't a graver violation that he out-sourced the role of love interest to an Argentinian?
Posted by: Sean | July 3, 2009 6:22 AM
http://www.wolfereports.com/?p=2308
"""""
There is also the allegation that Jenny has retained the services of Charleston’s Rosen Law Firm. The only confirmation we could secure is that her contact with the lawyers is for some sort of legal action, natch. It’s unknown whether it concerns divorce proceedings, though family law is one of the firm’s two specialties.
"""""
I wouldn't be surprised(though I'm not saying this is really what is happening) if she is prepping for divorce and the statement she released yesterday was to prevent him from hitting rock bottom for the sake of her children... I don't think there is any scenario that she can see where having Mark resign is in her interest... personally, I think she's going to regret intervening to help save his job... someone like mark needs to hit rock bottom so they actually go get the help they need...
Posted by: Anonymous | July 3, 2009 6:54 AM
The law firm she is taking some kind of legal action practices personal injury and family law...
http://www.rosen-lawfirm.com/
http://www.fitsnews.com/2009/07/02/sanford-contemplates-leave-of-absence/
"""""
Steadfastly refusing to resign his office, S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford is exploring the idea of taking a 60-day leave of absence, sources tell FITS.
The governor has also reportedly hired a crisis management team out of Washington, D.C. to help him navigate his ongoing public relations disaster, which took a decisive turn for the worst this week when an ill-fated Associated Press interview exposed numerous inconsistencies in his account of his affair with an Argentine woman.
"""""
Well, they didn't go that route... they went back to plan A which was "well ya know, if jenny & mark get back together" yadda... I wouldn't be surprised if she played along for a little bit even if she's pretty sure she wants a divorce... the calls for his resignation were coming in too fast and I doubt she wants to make a hasty decision...
Posted by: Anonymous | July 3, 2009 7:19 AM
Sanford has a hot story but no book deal. How long can THAT last?
See:
http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2009/07/03/sanford-book-deal-flames-out/
Posted by: Mike Licht | July 3, 2009 1:38 PM
@Sean: what a complete xenophobic statement to make. What difference does it make that he found love outside the good ole USA? I'm a gringo and I'm lucky to have a beautiful argentine gf and I'm not surprised sanford fell in love with an argentine like Chapur. The choice of emasculating american sass backtalk versus being treated like a conquistador with all the sensuality, grace, and intoxicating feminity argentinean women will give you is no choice at all. Argentine women know how to love in every way and can inspire the most dullard of men into hopeless romantics of shakespearan proportions. Go for it Sanford! Screw politics, make peace with your family, and go be with her.
Posted by: Dupree | July 3, 2009 10:25 PM
Dupree, your irony meter needs a tuneup.
Posted by: someone | July 4, 2009 1:04 AM