BILL RICHARDSON, IN HIS OWN WORDS.

Now that Bill Richardson has been offered a position in which his embarrassing verbal gaffes won't directly threaten America's reputation abroad, I finally feel free to delight in his logorrhea. This Esquire interview is full of gems from the just-tapped Commerce secretary. My favorites:

After the campaign, I grew a beard as a rebellion against those consultants who told me I had to comb my hair, shave, lose weight. I said, You know, I’m gonna do what I want now. That was a good feeling. ...

New Mexicans have better imaginations than anybody. My point on UFOs is, I don’t know if they’re fact or fiction. But it’s fun. It’s Americana. Why shut down dreams? And Dennis Kucinich said he’d actually seen one. ...

Every elegant man should have a nice fountain pen and a nice watch. ...

I had gotten three Red Cross leaders freed ten years earlier. So I had a plus in my good relations with Bashir, the Sudanese leader, when I went back to ask for the release of Paul Salopek, the Chicago Tribune correspondent. Bashir remembered that I had treated him with respect. He released Salopek. Then I said, “But you’ve gotta give me the two Africans you’ve got.” He said, “No, the Africans are from Chad. That’s an enemy country.” I said, “I can’t go back with one white guy and not any black guys.” Bashir laughed, really laughed, and that’s how we got them out.

--Dana Goldstein